June 3, 2008

Space Tunes Ready For Some Serious Beaming (read: Downloading)

Yeah, now you'll probably say that you won't need this. That it's extra weight on your already porn/tax form-ridden hard drive.

But just you wait, you'll be sitting at work or in class and the soothing sound of Captain Picard's voice will lure you back. And only the catchy yet semi-repulsive spewings of two pasty-white twenty-somethings and their far more interesting dancers will be able to cure you of your ailment.

And that reminds me, I've heard a lot of talk about our "roots" recently, and frankly I am appalled. We are from the streets. Don't take these words lightly either, because they will be spoken from the heart, the most verbal of all organs.

In fact, before we decided on "Those Aren't Muskets," our sketch group was going to be called "Urban Street Vibe." So don't mess with us. We're really rough.

PS! I heard that the person who downloads the .mp3 the most gets a private teleportation to Prime Directive and Galaxy Class' space pleasure cruiser: "The Rhymnasium, A Serious Look at Rhyme and Space." Two weeks, all amenities paid (spa tub included).

So for your download and/or preferred audio previewing software, click (or indeed right click) here.


  1. Congrats on making it on "Attack of the Show" for your Star Trek rap. made #3, not bad.

    Olivia Munn is so hot, I'd suck a fart from Abe's ass just to get the chance to have her kick around my junk.

  2. Or as I like to call it, Tuesday Mornings....

  3. Apparently I'm half fucking reatarded because rather than the ability tpo download this, I just get the quick time plug-in and the song auto-playing... Okay, maybe 3/4 retarded. But I was really looking forward to downloading this.

  4. WTF, post it as an MP3, pl0x.
    You need Quicktime Pro to download the audio track and I REFUSE to pay Apple for a "service" like that.

    Down with Apple.

  5. Yeah, why can't i get this in MP4 or something? I want to go into Best Buy, hook my iPod to one of those MP3 players they lay around and blast the mad beats that are dropped in this song.

  6. I have updated this with all y'all's concerns. Feel free to right click the non-quicktime reliant link at the bottom of the post. cheers.

  7. Downloaded this and blast it in my car stereo. Fucking hilarious. Actually very well mixed too. I've never watched Star Trek, but this is still great. Actually my favorite videos on this entire site are the two vpornblogs. I masturbate at least 3 times a day to them. What a vivid storyteller that Michael Swaim is. Swaim should definitely look into doing books on tape as he would flourish in that career.

    Disclaimer: I don't actually masturbate to them, so maybe don't try to make it as a book on tape speaker, as it may set you up for a horrible fiery crash of disappointment that you will never bounce back from, ultimately leading you to shun society as you rock back and forth in a dark room or to cut yourself. Apparently you already do the latter so that really only leaves one option, sorry to say.

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2009 Those Aren't Muskets!