April 30, 2008

Jack Thompson Discovers a "Deadly" Threat to Our Children

Cracked decided to front page a piece I wrote about the video game-hating, ignorance-spewing Jack Thompson, so I in turn decided to let you guys know about that, which now I have done.



Be merry!

April 28, 2008

Muskets Fanart Contest Winners!

The first annual Muskets! fan art contest is closed, and the winners have been decided!

Below, behold the glory of the First Place entry, straight from Kadaver's scanner to your eyeballs! Click the thumb for an even bigger example of why we (and the artist) are so incredibly awesome!

Congratulations friend, the intense power of your collage has earned you a free Busted Tee of your choice, and a lifetime subscription to the official TAM! Newsletter!

Also, you now have the inherent right to look down on the contest's runners-up; we suggest you exercise it. Here they are, so you know who you're better than.

And don't worry runners up, you're still better than everyone else who entered, and WAY better than the billions of people who didn't!

Thanks to all who entered! When we get another free T-shirt, we'll let you know!

April 25, 2008

Muskets Shoppe Now Open!

After literally a few afternoons of hard work, we are proud to announce the opening of the online Muskets! Shoppe, where one (or preferably more) may peruse and purchase Muskets!-related apparel at competitive prices (for rip-off Internet stores, anyway), all from the comfort or discomfort of their own home!

We've thrown up seven or so designs, but we plan to roll out new shirts, stickers, mugs, etc. with semi-regularity. And for those who have been emailing: the plain logo T is coming, as soon as we track down a hi-res copy of said logo.

In the meantime, is there a design you desperately want to have emblazoned on your chest? A favorite sketch or line you'd like to advertise to the world? Let us know!

Now go get Daddy's credit card and start buying!

April 21, 2008


I'll be blunt with you: we've come into some good fortune vis a vis t-shirts. Which is to say, we have one. Or, rather, a voucher for one. Specifically, we are entitled to one (1) free busted tees shirt of our choice thanks to getting a video featured on College Humor.

And generous as we are, we thought why hog the cotton bounty when we can enrich the lives of our fans? Also, we already have two of the best shirt they offer (Pizza is the best). Naturally, we'll need something in return, which is why we've decided to announce the first ever MUSKETS ART CHALLENGE!

The rules are simple: send an image of a Muskets character, actor, or anything else TAM-related to our email inbox (thosearentmuskets@gmail.com) by the end of this week and on Monday we'll post the winner's pic and order whatever busted tee they want on their behalf. If no one enters, we reserve the right to extend the contest indefinitely and/or claim the shirt ourselves. And then weep into it.

Entries will be judged on craftsmanship, composition, originality, and irreverence. But remember...have fun with it!

I Don't Hate Judd Apatow

But I love getting attention by ragging on beloved figures at the height of their popularity. You should have seen the bit I did on Kurt Vonnegut right when Slaughterhouse-5 came out. Scathing. Anyway, check out my Cracked article on Mr. Apatow and Digg it to ironically show your love for him!

April 16, 2008

Thanks to You, Chops' Long Journey is Nearly at an End

ZOMG, you guys. A huge thank you to all who supported Chops in the Sketchies contest; the outpouring of support from our fans, friends and family was tremendous, and no matter what happens when they announce the winners on the 18th, we are in your debt. We say that now, because if it turns out we didn't win, the spite we're going to feel for you lazy fuckers will know no bounds.

To all those who endured a steady stream of TAM!-spam: the downpour is over. And hey, at least it rhymes, right? That's cute.

To all those who genuinely enjoyed the sketch and didn't just vote because we asked you to: as the front page reiterates, we are working on an extended cut of Chops (including a steamy hot tub scene!) that should be up on the site in the coming weeks. If you're sufficiently recovered from his first onslaught, be sure to look for that.

That's all for now. We return to our regularly scheduled sketches, and bask in the warm glow of your unconditional love.

Thanks again!

ADDENDUM: For the record, we officially got fourth place in the contest...not too shabby! We only lost out to Waverly Films (who are mega-huge and make videos for Fatboy Slim, Death Cab, and more), POYKPAC (also huge, at least on Youtube) and three hot teen girls singing about something or other.

April 14, 2008

Local Troop Makes Local Paper

In case some of you still get your news from ink on pulped trees (you barbarians you), check out the "Arts" section of today's issue of the San Digeo Union-Tribune for a few choice pics and some kind words about your friends the Muskets! We managed to finagle a feature in the hopes that it'd help us in the Sketchies competition (have you voted today?), and I think it came out pretty awesome, despite its glaring omission of the names of many Muskets regulars. Hopefully our next feature we can get the whole troop together for a giant barbecue or orgy or something; then they'll HAVE to list everyone.

Oh, and for those who live in the 21st Century, here's a link to the digitized article.

Addendum: Apparently, "Internet Party" was also in a newspaper in Cleveland, Ohio today. Don't ask me how I found that out.

April 10, 2008

Mitch Gavelneck Rides Again

Yankee Pot Roast has got another piece of mine up, and they made what is possibly the nerdiest and at the same time most awesome image ever associated with my work. Check it.

April 1, 2008

O Conductor of our Hearts, O Brian of our Kellys

Well, here we are. We've all been waiting for the perfect moment for some time now. You have given us so much: laughter, sadness, and the will to look into our own souls and see the truth. You remind us of ourselves and that we can strive to be better. No, the best.

So here's us giving back to you...

2009 Those Aren't Muskets!