March 31, 2008

We Trend Upwards in More Ways Than One

In case you were interested in the details of our personal lives, so as to vicariously feel like you've "hung out" with us and "shot the shit," I thought I'd link you to the photos Abe took of our recent four-day backpacking trip through Idyllwild.

The plan was to buy a lot of expensive equipment, drive to the remote wilderness and eschew civility for a full 96 hours. As the pictures of us eating fifty dollars worth of pizza prove, we failed at least in the last regard. Turns out the whole mountain was iced over and we needed crampons to even enter the park.

Thus, we wandered from day hike to day hike, drove around town, and generally had a totally normal camping trip (with the exception of our invention of Bigfoot Bowling, destined to become the ultimate camping pastime, and gloriously featured in said photoset). Other highlights include me looking like a drug dealer from the 80's and Abe and I fistfighting.

Also, turns out while we were gone our daily traffic quadrupled and we got three vids on I Am Bored and two on Gorilla Mask. Guess we should leave town and stop working more often.

March 24, 2008

My Fiancee is Adorable

I was reading my Facebook wall--which I do too rarely--and came across this image Lara made for me that I'd forgotten about. It bears posting, so here goes:

For the record, that's me and Lara on the left holding hands, and our gargantuan dogs soaring overhead.

I love you sweetheart.

March 23, 2008

Cheer Up, Musket Kids!

It's really been a good week for our favorite musical artists here at TAM. First, epic glam rockers The Hot Farts reunited with a powerful re-release of their debut album. And now, a powerful straight-from-the-diary track comes from sensitive newcomers Death Car for Jimmy.

Truly, God's gift to musical history.

To personally relive these mind-blowingly unforgettable times, feel free to download the track and upload it to your iPod, iPhone, or other i-prefixed device.

March 21, 2008

Lord Bellingham Returns

One of my favorite pieces ever has gone up over at Yankee Pot Roast. I'd be ever so pleased if you were to absorb the information it contains by scanning your eyes across it.

March 20, 2008

Spitzer vs. McGreevey: Profiles in Dignity

I promised myself I wouldn't blog about Eliot Spitzer after this video basically did the whole thing to perfection. But technically, this post is about ex-Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey, who decided that coming out of the closet and resigning last year wasn’t enough, and that it would be a good idea to wait twelve months and then publicly admit to bisexual threesomes with his aide.

Frankly, it’s the timing of the whole thing that makes me suspicious…one Northeastern Governor gets unseated thanks to a juicy sex scandal, then another does, then the first guy comes up with even more juicy elaborations on his sexcapades. Seems to me like someone’s missing the ol’ spotlight. Well, no worries Mr. McGreevey; I think after your little public dispute with Spitzer via press conference (embedded below for your viewing pleasure), you’re going right back on the front page.

Sketchies Finals (And The Hot Farts Director's Cut)

Oh shit oh shit oh shit. You guys, it's getting straight-up crazy in here.

When we started this thing 9 months ago, we never could have imagined that the comedy baby we were gestating would burst forth as a shot at forty thousand dollars. Nevertheless, here we are, a mere insurmountable number of votes away from winning the Youtube Sketchies II contest.

There are some extremely heavy hitters arrayed against us (Come on Waverly, you've already GOT production equipment!), and frankly we're kind of in an underdog situation, but if American cinema has taught us anything, it's that underdogs always win. Always.

We've got the heart, we've got the gumption, and we promise to make you the best fucking sketch we can. So a big thank you to all who voted for us in the semi's, and an apology in advance for the MASSIVE spamming you are going to receive during the Final voting period.

Seriously, for enough money to buy a new camera and fund our next twenty sketches, I will come to each of your houses every goddamned day and throw pebbles at your windows.

In related news: we don't usually do this sort of thing, but Youtube's 3 minute time limit meant we had to cut some supremely charming shit out of Hot Farts. Accordingly, we have now replaced it with a longer edit, so enjoy that on the main videos page or anywhere else Muskets! products are sold.

March 18, 2008 Reviews Muskets!

Well, we've gotten our first ever review, and already we're questioning everything we stand for and all that we've failed to accomplish. To see what some guy thinks of us, and my last name misspelled so as to be a past tense verb (can you guess which?), check out the article at

In all honesty, the guys over there were very cool and we appreciate the exposure, so hit them up.

In other news, the song we tried to post directly below this should be readable and downloadable now. It is, right? Someone please comment and tell us. More of those in the future, assuming we have in fact figured out how to post them.

March 13, 2008

The Hot Farts Reunion Tour!

You have no clue how excited I am. I just heard from my friend that The Hot Farts are rejoining. I know! So awesome! I've just been kicking wildly for a few hours in my room! Get this: they are not only doing a tour, but they are RE-RELEASING their debut album, "The Ogre King." You guys, this is seriously boss - you need to peep these sweet tunes. Uh oh, I feel some kicks coming!

For your listening pleasure, I have made available the LP's title track.

March 10, 2008

Samuel L. Jackson Releases Video Endorsement of Presidential Candidate!

Following in the wake of Jack Nicholson's stirring tribute to Hillary Clinton, famed and prolific Hollywood screen actor Samuel L. Jackson (Deep Blue Sea) has released a video clip detailing his own thoughts on the person best fit to run the country in 2008 and beyond. Let's watch, shall we?

Digg this video here!

March 6, 2008

8 Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped

Hey gang! I've got a new article up at Cracked about upcoming movie adaptations that shouldn't have ever been greenlit. It was co-written with my fellow bloggers, so there's some real back and forth there. "Back and forth" meaning smoldering, passive-aggressive hate.

Read it!

Digg it!

Be merry!

March 5, 2008

A Dated Piece of Miscellania From Your Favorite Humorista!

I've gone and gotten another article up at Yankee Pot Roast, one of the densest repositories of funny on the web. Check it here, and be sure to delve deeper into their archives. You won't be disappointed.
2009 Those Aren't Muskets!