Or there'd be a whole state of trogloditic sex fiends hunting me down for the horrible things I said in today's front page Cracked article about how they're dumb and stuff. They're probably so dumb they couldn't even figure out how to Digg it, let alone drive to my house and beat me up. Morons.
P.S. If by some miracle one of you Floridian lumps of dog crap is able to squeeze enough of the meaning of this post into your mealy, disease-ridden brain and plans some kind of cross-country travail to give me my cumuppeance, bring me an alligator.
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2009 Those Aren't Muskets!