July 22, 2007

Reasons “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is Outperforming “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” at the Box Office

All the Harry Potter fans are too busy reading “Deathly Hallows” so they can ruin the ending for their friends (Hint: Guess who’s an android? It’s Ron. Ron is an android).

People just can’t resist the guaranteed comedy gold of an obligatory five-minute Rob Schneider cameo.

Harry’s wand is purely a symbol for his phallic coming of age, while Kevin James’ is the genuine, albeit horrible, article.

The sophisticated take “Chuck and Larry” presents vis a vis gay rights, marriage law, and the morality of justified deceit is far more edifying than a bunch of hackneyed, overdone Hollywood tripe.

Everyone’s apparently forgotten all the inoffensive gay jokes they heard at cocktail parties in the 1980’s.

This may be the last time we get to see Adam Sandler play himself until “Click” premieres on CBS.

Gay men can’t resist a chance to imagine Adam Sandler and Kevin James making sweet love.

Straight men can’t resist a chance to imagine Adam Sandler being painfully sodomized.

“Order of the Phoenix” kind of lost its punch once you know that ultimately, Harry kills himself after the long, uneventful stewardship of a failing investment banking firm.

Of the two, only “Chuck and Larry” boasts jokes funny enough to make you smirk and mutter, “That was funny.”

The Producers of “Chuck and Larry” finally buckled and included an action-packed Quidditch match near the end of the movie.

A lot of people who were going to go see the Harry Potter movie got held up at the NERD CONVENTION!

A good number of children accidentally went to “Hairy Pooter and the Order of the Penis” by mistake.


is more attractive than this:

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