Brett and Ryan are standing at the borders of a High School Dance, watching everyone else on the dance floor with contempt.
BRETT: Look at all of them. Losers. Dancing to music and crap.
RYAN: Yeah.
They stand there for a long moment, feeling superior to the kids dancing.
BRETT: Where were you this morning? I couldn't get a hold of you. A bunch of us went out to the empty field behind the middle school and threw rocks at this big scorpion's nest.
RYAN: Oh, I can't believe I missed that.
BRETT: You shoulda been there. Jeremy got stung real bad on his foot. It was pretty cool. I think he had to go to the hospital later.
RYAN: Wow. I was helping my Mom out, with some chores.
BRETT: Nerd.
RYAN: Shut up!
BRETT: Whatever. When my Dad gets back from the army, he said he's going to take me out to the dunes on his dune buggies.
RYAN: That's so unbelievably awesome.
BRETT: Yeah, so, maybe you can come. I mean, if you're not too busy with chores.
RYAN: Shut up!
Pause. Brett sneers at the dancers.
BRETT: Heh. Look at them. Losers.
RYAN: Yeah.
BRETT: See that girl?
RYAN: Which?
BRETT: With the boobs.
RYAN: Oh. Oh! Yeah, totally.
BRETT: You know what I heard? I heard she's so slutty, this one time, at a party, she opened a beer bottle with her cervix.
RYAN: Yow. That is hot.
BRETT: I know, right? (Yells) Hey, Brittany! Hey! I got a bottle of bud right here with you name on it! Oh, that's right! You dance away! Just dance away! Skank. You know Joey, that stoner kid?
RYAN: Which?
BRETT: With the boobs.
RYAN: Oh, yeah, totally.
BRETT: At my cousin's birthday party last year, he totally got it on with a bong.
RYAN: What?
BRETT: No, I'm serious. We had to throw it away. That kid's crazy. And thick, like a PVC pipe.
RYAN: You want punch?
BRETT: Sure.
Amanda comes up and approaches Brett.
AMANDA: Hey, Brett.
BRETT: Hey.
AMANDA: Kerri told me you weren't coming tonight.
BRETT: Kerri doesn't know me. No one does.
Amanda giggles.
AMANDA: Do you want to dance?
BRETT: Do you want to do it in the back of my Hyundai?
AMANDA: Ew! No!
Brett shrugs. Amanda leaves. Ryan comes back.
RYAN: What were you guys talking about?
BRETT: She was hitting on me, but you scared her off.
RYAN: Oh. Sorry.
BRETT: No biggie. She wasn't my type anyway. I like dangerous chicks. When I yank it, sometimes I go get my Dad's old pistol out of the garage and play Russian Roulette, otherwise I can't finish.
Long, uncomfortable silence.
BRETT: Where's the punch?
RYAN: They're out.
BRETT: Hey, you know what's cool to do sometime?
RYAN: Huh?
BRETT: When a girl is going down on you, play air guitar on the back of her head. I totally did that one time. They love it.
Long pause.
BRETT: Hey! Kerri! Shake it, baby! Yeah! No one's watching, sweetheart! You're all alone! You rub all up on Jim's leg! You like that Jimmy, huh?! Go on Ry, try it.
RYAN: What?
BRETT: Heckling the girls. They like that.
RYAN: Really?
BRETT: Dude, I'm telling you, girls like guys that are jerks. You think I do this because I'm mean? No, I'm a great guy. I do this because that's how it gets done. Go for it.
Ryan hesitantly shouts to the crowd. As he does, Brett scoffs cynically.
RYAN: Hey! Hey, uh—Carol! You—you look really nice tonight! That's a very nice skirt! (Pause.) Yeah, I like it! (Pause) No, no, yeah I saw it there, and I—that's funny I actually thought, you know, hey, that's like something Carol would wear, and then--(Pause). What? Oh, ok! Yeah, I'll, um, I'll get a car, and—just a second-- (To Brett) Can I borrow your Hyundai?
BRETT: Can I get in the trunk and listen?
Ryan grudgingly nods, and Brett gives Ryan the keys. Exuent.
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