INT. SOUND STAGE-DAY
KIEFER SUTHERLAND and SEAN ASTIN stand center frame on a sound stage. In the background, grips move props and set pieces around. A guy dressed as a terrorist walks by.
KIEFER:
Hi. I'm Kiefer Sutherland, and I portray Counter-Terrorist agent Jack Bouer in the Television series 24. This is my friend and fellow cast member, Sean Astin.
SEAN:
I was Sam in Lord of the Rings.
KIEFER:
You know, in a dramatic and tightly plotted series like ours, which attempts to show you, in real time, the events unfolding during one very bad day, a lot can get left out. That's why we decided to compile this special edition of 24, highlighting the moments in Jack Bouer's workday that we just didn't have time for.
SEAN:
I was Mikey in The Goonies.
KIEFER:
Enjoy.
Pause. The actors seem to drop character. Keifer looks at Sean.
BLACK SCREEN
A red time code tics seconds away, as dramatic musical stings hit with every increment. Dunn. DUNN. DUNN! On the last beat, the clock disappears, leaving the screen blank again.
INT. A ROOM-MORNING
A close up of JACK BOUER, revealing only his eyes and brow. His brow is tensed, his eyes flick back and forth intensely.
A wider shot reveals that Jack is reading Time Magazine. The cover story is about a bomb that's going to kill everyone in 24 hours.
A wider shot reveals that Jack is on the toilet. There is a loud knock at the door.
BILL (O.S.):
Jack! Come on!
JACK:
Just a minute!
Split-screen shots show Jack setting down the magazine. Jack washing his hands. Jack pulling up his pants. Jack staring into space looking intense.
EXT. HALLWAY-CONTINUOUS
BILL BUCHANAN waits impatiently for Jack, who comes out of the bathroom.
BILL:
Jack, time is running out!
JACK:
I know that! I know! Look, I'm a human being for God's sake. I was holding that in all day.
BILL:
Well get your ass into the briefing room. Chloe's got some intel for us concerning the bomb's whereabouts.
JACK:
Chloe? Does it have to be Chloe?
BILL:
Dammit Jack, Chloe is the best intel person this agency has!
JACK:
I know, but she looks like someone punched her in the face. She's like a poor man's Renee Zelwegger.
BILL:
Agreed, but there's not time to get anyone else. In case you've forgotten, there's a bomb--
JACK:
Alright! I'm doing it! God, you don't have to be a jerk about it.
BLACK SCREEN
A red time code tics seconds away, as dramatic musical stings hit with every increment.
INT. CAR-DAY
Jack is yelling at someone. We can't see who.
JACK:
You may have time to screw around here, but I don't! Lives are at risk, lives that I'm not willing to jeopardize for your sake! So you give me what I want, and you give it to me now!
Wider shot reveals Jack at a drive through window, yelling at a bored-looking TEEN.
TEEN:
Sir, like I said, the fryalator is broken.
JACK:
Give me the burger then! I'll start now!
Jack grabs a bag of food from the teen, rips it open, and starts messily devouring a hamburger. After a moment, the teen hands him his fries. He starts to eat them.
TEEN:
That's 6.05--
Jack has already started driving off.
JACK:
I don't have time! National security!
Jack keeps eating his fries, and there's a ringing sound. He hits a button on the dash, and we hear Buchanan's voice over a speaker.
BILL (O.S.):
Jack, how close are you to the weapons depot?
JACK:
I got held up in traffic, but I'm on my way now.
BILL (O.S.):
Dammit Jack!
JACK:
There was nothing I could do sir. Terrorists...shot...someone.
BILL (O.S.):
Are you eating?
JACK:
How dare you question my dedication to this agency! I should turn around right now and--
BILL (O.S.):
Jack! Video phone!
JACK:
What?
BILL (O.S.):
We installed a video phone.
Jack is silent for a moment, then suddenly pulls over to the side of the road. He starts crying, stuffing the last of the french fries into his mouth.
BILL (O.S.):
Jack? Jack, what are you doing?
JACK:
Could you just---give me a minute? Please?
BILL (O.S.):
Jack!
JACK:
No, shut up! Can I say something? I'm trying really hard, okay? And, I—I just wanted some fries, and I thought that—just forget it. I suck. Everything I do just gets messed up!
BILL (O.S.):
Jack, stop crying, dammit!
JACK:
I'm a terrible secret agent!
BILL (O.S.):
Jack, listen to me. Jack, that's not true, you're a great agent. Come on...who's my big strong agent? Jackie? Who's gonna stop the bomb?
JACK:
My wife got killed, you know, and--
BILL (O.S.):
Shh. Shh. I know, I know. Come on. Who's gonna stop the bomb? Who's my big agent? Who's going to save the city, even though he never gets any credit and his loved ones get repeatedly killed?
JACK (Sullenly):
I am.
BLACK SCREEN
A red time code tics seconds away, as dramatic musical stings hit with every increment.
Jack and Chloe are interrogating a subject. The man is tied to a chair. Chloe looks like Renee Zelwegger. Jack is sweaty and exhausted from beating the man. He hits him across the face, and yells.
JACK:
Tell me who you work for!
The man spits in Jack's face, then says something in arabic. Jack pulls out a gun and puts it to his head.
CHLOE:
Jack, this isn't working! We've tried everything, he's not going to talk.
Jack puts the gun back in his belt, and marches off with a purpose.
JACK:
Wait here, I've got an idea.
Chloe looks at the terrorist and smirks, making her face look bizarre and uncomfortable.
CHLOE:
If I were you, I'd start talking. Jack isn't known for his compassion.
The terrorist grimaces at her expression.
TERRORIST:
You are the reason we invented burkhas.
INT. HALLWAY-LATER
Jack is asleep on the floor. He's napping in the fetal position. Various split screen shots show him from different angles.
Chloe is standing over Jack.
CHLOE:
JACK!
JACK:
Wuzzuh! Wah! Uh--
CHLOE:
What are you doing?!
JACK (Groggily springing to his feet):
I'm on it! I'm on it! Where's the bomb?!
CHLOE:
Jack, we're supposed to be interrogating someone!
JACK (Rubbing sleep out of his eyes):
I was—power napping...for power.
INT. SOUND STAGE-DAY
Kiefer and Sean.
KIEFER:
Finally, as a special bonus, we'd like to share with you a never-before-seen alternate ending to season 2. Because of some differences of opinion between the writers and producers, the following scene was shot and edited, but ultimately scrapped in favor of a different, much better one. Enjoy.
SEAN:
I was Rudy, in Rudy. That was a good one.
BLACK SCREEN
A red time code tics seconds away, as dramatic musical stings hit with every increment.
EXT. A CITY STREET-DAY
Jack is on the phone with Buchanan. Dead bodies litter the ground. Jack is heaving with exertion.
JACK:
I've done it. I've killed the terrorists and recovered the bomb. The world is safe.
BILL (O.S.):
The world owes you a debt of gratitude, Jack. Unfortunately, because of the political climate, we're not going to be able to let the public know of your involvement.
JACK:
That's fine, sir. I don't do it for the fame.
BILL:
Also, we're going to have to fake your death--
JACK:
Uh-huh.
BILL:
And fly you, in a packing crate, to Indonesia.
JACK:
Oh.
BILL:
Where you will live undercover--
JACK:
Awww!
BILL:
As a sewer treatment specialist--
JACK:
Come on!
BILL:
--pedophile.
JACK:
What? Why is that even necessary?!
BILL:
Goodbye Jack. I'll call you again if we need anything.
JACK:
You guys suck!
Buchanan hangs up. Jack is exasperated.
BLACK SCREEN
INT. SOUND STAGE-DAY
KIEFER SUTHERLAND and SEAN ASTIN stand center frame on a sound stage. In the background, grips move props and set pieces around.
KIEFER:
There you have it. The exciting, uncut world of 24.
SEAN:
I was also the voice of Kodi in Balto 3: Wings of Courage.
KIEFER:
Sean, I swear to God, I will ruin you.
END
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